What’s Really Going On? Devyani Khobragade

Ok so you are tirelessly scanning the international news wires in the general course of your business dealings and you occasionally stumble upon some inexplicably ambigous fun facts. The perfect example is the latest diplomatic brou-ha-ha about the Indian Consular Official, Devyani Khobragade, who was arrested and strip searched in America for Visa Fraud and Labour Violations only to be “promoted’ to the Indian UN staff to obtain full diplomatic immunity allowing her to flee back to India avoiding prosecution. Now if you are hip to the game…and I trust that you are…you probably know that every civilized nation in the modern word uses official embassorial and consular staff for the performance of espionage as a product of diplomatic immunity. So as a savvy realist you know that the odds tell you, that when the U.S. is willing to violate the ancient customs of international diplomacy; in an almost unprecidented fashion; to expel a diplomat from their country, it is most likely because they are engaged in espionage. Much like the when the Russians recently outed the CIA Station Chief in Moscow and expelled him in a far more spectacularily unprecidented move. The Americans are just playing this one the way they usually do…some pretense to being about justice and protecting human rights while boiling down to the interests of the elite.

But hey, just for shitz-n-giggles why don’t we lay off the conspiracy theory for a second and accept the story as it is presented. So you have this 39 year old deputy-consul, younger than one would expect from a prestigous New York diplomatic post. Oh her daddy is a provincial politician back home, and she ain’t too hard on the eyes either, as far as stuffy functionaries go, nuff said. So this “diplomat” recruits an Indian servant to you know do all the things that diplomats are far too busy to do like cook, clean, and raise her 2 children. And although the forms she filled out said she would pay this labourer a fair wage by U.S. standards she was in fact not even payed 1/3 of the minimum wage. The domestic servant was forced to work seven days a week for 15 hours a day and had her passport witheld by her employer who was probably eye candy at state dinners giving canned speeches about India’s new economy of prosperity while taking advantage of her countrywoman. Not that such attitudes and behaviours dont happen everyday in America’s upper classes. Heck,  a cusory search of craigslist will turn up all sorts of ads for domestic slavery jobs targeting specific nationalities. Whether it is a live-in nanny, a day labourer from home depot, or a migrant farm worker it is immoral to take advantage of your fellow man by paying slave wages, under the table, to people and then abusing them on top of it. It seems pretty cut and dried from here so we might as well smoke it.

The Indians are up in arms about the whole thing, apparently because of the arrest and strip search, yet they were warned several weeks in advance. Apparently strip searches of women are traditionally considered a barbaric indecency in India but gang raping a women to death on a public bus only just recently became illegal there. Also paying your domestic servants low wages has always been legal there so what is the harm? Hell a simple woman couldn’t possibly be so deceitful as to attempt to smuggle contaband into prison concealed in her most private areas so why even bother looking. Ask anybody who knows and they will tell you that there is contraband-o-plenty to be had in jail and it has to get in somehow. So however ineffective a strip search is it is standard procedure in the western world for this reason. It is also the rareity of cavity searches in the system that affords the primary means of smuggling(colourfully termed ‘hooping’). More than likely when the U.S. Marshalls arrested this P.O.S. she acted all superior flouting here diplomatic immunity around and these good freedom loving cops did things by the book and taught this “diplomat’ a lesson about how criminals are treated in America.

So of course in retaliation the Indian Government has expelled an American diplomat who they claim assisted the servant’s husband and family to flee the country after the diplomats daddy made some threats against them. Wow that is one heck of a story. Tensions are high between India and America and really any way you slice it I gotta side with the Americans. Maybe she was a spy…maybe she was taken down by one of her own via a setup…How can you side with the slave-driver if it is as it seems…And the crap about strip-searches being rape…I ain’t buying it…it is just a security protocol…if you don’t get arrested it probably won’t be a problem, if you do get arrested being a jerk to the officers will almost certainly make it an issue. In many jurisdictions it is mandatory to strip search all detainees and prisoners upon entry so even charm may not prevent such an indignity. It is not assault it is a job, a necesscary, albiet dirty one. I feel bad for the people who’s job it is look at prisoner’s bungholes all day long…I am interested to see how this saga all plays out maybe it will provide better clues on what is really going on.

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